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South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna (12) and Angelee (9) and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. Our faithful Great Restorer has graciously blessed us with one more son, Gabriel, who has just recently made his grand entry into this big wide world of wonder. We are all so in love with him already! "Love in Action" is our journey as a family to love the way Jesus is teaching us to love and live.

About the Journey

Life is certainly a remarkable adventure! You just never quite know what's around that next corner! I am a 36 year old wife and mommy to 4 amazing children. When I started this blog a few years ago I had no idea just how much I would learn about the depths of God's love in the years ahead! Back then I was a mommy of two little girls. In September 2011 we were given the greatest privilege to become proud parents to a very special little boy called Zac, our "lion heart". We were entrusted to carry him in pregnancy in an amazing walk of faith, because he would only be ours this side of Heaven for 21 and a half hours after birth. Our precious heart baby has taught us more about the reality of Heaven and the truly important matters of the heart in his short journey in our lives than a lifespan of living could have taught us. He continues to be our pointer to Jesus in remarkable ways. "Love in Action" has become our incredible journey through grief to live lives filled with grace, strength, increasing joy and purpose as we continue to heal and grow in God's amazing love as a family. Just a few weeks ago we welcomed our second son, Gabriel into this amazing big-wide-world-of-wonder! We are overcome with joy as the Great Restorer is faithfully at work in our lives! Please come and join me on my adventure. I'm one of those people who wears my heart on my sleeve. I'm a firm believer of living my life out in the open as I continue to pursue a life lived in truth and freedom. I am exploring the depths of God's personal love for us, and I have to say that life is far more colourful lived in His love. I would like to live my life having experienced rich friendships - both new and old and most certainly having loved and laughed my way through most of it. I welcome you to share your thoughts and comments with me. At the end of each blog entry, click on "comments" to add your thoughts. I can't wait to hear from you! Here's to life God's way ... RICH and FULL in Jesus Christ's overflowing love for us!

26 April 2012

Today was a hard day

Today was a hard day for me. We drove back to Cape Town. The last time we made this beautiful drive I was pregnant and full of hope for a miracle. The closer we got here today, the more painful my heart began to feel. So many memories. Precious memories of so much love, but also memories that bare the scars of my deepest pain. This is the place where I last got to hold my son. It is also the place where we scattered his ashes. For me, although we are in a totally different area of Cape Town and for a different reason, wherever I look I am reminded of my joy and pain. Today I ache so deeply and grieve such a deep loss. Wherever I look there are precious babies. Their cries pierce such a tender place of longing in my heart for a certain little boy that i got the priviledge to birth. I miss my son and wrestle the hurt of dissapointment! It has been a while since the pain has been as intense as it is today, but i remind myself to be honest and take my pain, hurt and dissapointment to the One who bore my griefs and burdens on the cross. He is the One who continues to reach nail scarred hands of grace out to me and reminds me that He understands and is willing to carry this cross for me. He allows me to be honest with just how hard this journey can be and He soothes my heart with assurance of His unfailing love. He reminds me that it is ok to cry hard sometimes. He listens when I ask "why" and pour out the disappointment of a broken mothers heart. And then He sends arms to hold me when I cry. He whispers my name into people's hearts and they write to tell me that they have been praying for me and then I know. I know that tomorrow is going to be a better day and that somehow, joy will come in the morning. In fact, joy will come even in the mourning. I know that His grace will once again sustain me and draw me closer still to my precious Saviour. This trip is significant for me. We will be here until Sunday. Interestingly enough, this Sunday marks the 7th month of Zac's birth. There is purpose in these next 3 days here. For today though, I am going to close my eyes and rest in this beautiful Francshhoek bed & breakfast and allow my Jesus to restore my aching heart. Jesus, I look to You. Jannie xxx

8 comments:

Patti Friday, April 27, 2012  

Oh Janine, I am so so very sorry. I just had a miscarriage two nights ago after knowing our baby died 5 weeks ago. I'm drowning in self pity and trying to pull myself out of it. Your pain is so much worse- I'm sorry, dear sister, and I will be praying hard for you. Lots of hugs from Oregon to SA. oxoxoxox

beth bennett Friday, April 27, 2012  

My prayers go out to you. and I think you are amazing. Jesus is close to the broken-hearted so he is close to you.

beth

JustEllaBella Saturday, April 28, 2012  

Some days truly knock the wind out of you :( but joy comes in the morning. U are forever in my prayers ((hug))

Janine Sunday, April 29, 2012  

Precious Patti, I am so heart sore to read of your loss. Please know that I am praying for your broken heart. I am praying that you will encounter Grace so tender and so very strong that only God can bring to carry you through this time of loss, pain and grief. You are so very close to my heart.

Janine Sunday, April 29, 2012  

Thank you Beth for your precious words of encouragement that are a balm to my heart. I can truly say that these last 7 months have shown me that Jesus is indeed so close to me through the joys and the sadness. The verse you share has become a living reality. How faithful our Jesus truly is!

Janine Sunday, April 29, 2012  

El - I know you know and I love you dearly even though we have never met. Our similar stories have brought us together. Love you and am praying for you too as you negotiate good and hard days too.

Annelie,  Sunday, May 13, 2012  

Hi Janine
I just realise in what a "small" world we live. Friends of us in CT looked after the children in Franschoek that weekend. Dont know if you met them..precious couple with such an awesome testimonies. They've got 9 babies waiting for them in heaven. After adopting a son, were blessed with a fourth pregnancy and their son is almost a year now. So after so much pain blessed with 5 children. Merinda will always be such an awesome woman to me. When I saw you were in Franschoek on fb and really hoped you meet Merinda. Anyway my friend there's many days that I hold my Daniel and ache in my heart for you. Today was one of them!

Janine Friday, May 18, 2012  

Wow Annelie, I am amazed at what your friend has gone through. We never took our kids with us, so we never got the opportunity to meet your friend. I would loved to have met her. So precious to hear how God has walked through healing and restoration with them.

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