About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

04 July 2013

The BIG in the SIMPLE

Crazy title ... but hear me out.
Lately as I have been seeking out the Father's voice for my life, I hear him pointing out the SIMPLE stuff. Take for instance this morning. 
My heart's cry has always been for God to use my life for His glory, to make a difference with His love, but sometimes when I take a good look at my life I can't help but look up, arch and eyebrow and wonder when that BIG moment is finally going to arrive? What is that one BIG THING that He has called me to? It doesn't necessarily look like my life has yet to make a big impact on a world so full of hurting hearts. Ever feel the same?
Well, as I was pottering about the house, the doorbell rang and a familiar homeless man was back asking for something to eat. I was in my pj's about to write a 'deep blog post' about hearing God's voice ;0) Honestly, making something to eat was the last thing I felt like doing. And that's when I heard Him. "Here's an opportunity Jan. Go make him a super yummy roll ... toss in some fresh fruit and then make him a nice, sweet cup of tea with an extra dash of sugar!". I could even hear the excitement in His heart in the details. Seriously God??? This is the big stuff? "Yip! This is the BIG stuff!"
So off I went. Thankfully I had someone take it outside for me (as not to scare the poor man out of his wits at the sight of my crazy hair and pj's - hee hee). I peered through the window as she handed him the tea. He just stood there. Surprised. He stood motionless and took a sip. I could see the delight at such a small little act of thoughtfulness. I WANTED TO BAWL MY EYES OUT!!! The man was freezing on this cold Wintery day. He doesn't have the luxury of a kettle at home to make himself something nice to drink on a cold morning. He doesn't have the luxury of a warm home full stop! Something so SIMPLE like a cup of sweet tea with that extra dash of sugar on a cold day to warm him up after a cold night on the streets was God's love and mercy in action reaching straight to his heart ... meeting a physical and heart need. That SIMPLE act was God's heart of compassion showing him that He sees and cares so deeply for him. 
As I sit and type this out I hear God's gentle instruction that in His Kingdom, it's not necessarily about doing that one BIG THING as much as it is daily tuning my heart in to His heart to discern how best to express His love in so many SIMPLE ways. It's that cup of tea ... or those few extra moments letting one of my kids share their heart when I would rather have them tucked in bed so I can have some 'adult time' ... or sending a message of encouragement etc. God uses the SIMPLE small things to make a BIG difference in people's hearts every day. Rather a life lived daily inspired by God's love than sitting around waiting for that one BIG moment.
It reminded me of what Jesus said in the book of Matthew, that in all the SIMPLE ways that we choose to obey and express His love to those around us, He declares that we do it unto Him.  
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Matthew 25:31-40
So thankful for the patient and loving ways that He leads and guides us into a fulfilling life lived in His love!
All my love xxx

01 July 2013

Loving my kids on purpose!

I have been missing this cozy corner in blog-land for far too long. It's a rare quiet moment. The girls are out having fun at Holiday Club and boyzie is fast asleep. I have a silly grin on my face as I try remember how to use this key-board after way too long ;0)
To kick off ... here are a few pics of my precious growing-up-way-too-fast treasures ...
 Mr. Gabe is 5 months old already! He loves nothing more than being outside and out and about with mommy. He clearly has a big wide world of wonder to explore and is soaking it all up. I can't keep him inside for too long. I love his simple wonder at life around him. It's teaching me to find joy in the everyday simple things in life.
 He is totally enraptured by all the love that his 2 best big sisters in the whole wide world lavish on him every day. Nothing makes my heart smile bigger than seeing the bond that these 3 share with one another. I love watching him laugh at all their crazy antics! They are such big helpers to me too. Always willing to take a few moments to hang out with their little brother when I need to get something done around the house. I am bowled over seeing the overflow of their love. I also smile as I hear them tell him all about his big brother in heaven. When they miss Zac, I've taught them to snuggle Gabe a little closer ;0) Man we miss that little guy! 
Mr. Cosmo and Gabriel are fast becoming big friends. They are both fascinated by each other. Cosmo is so protective over Gabe. If he hears him crying, he will come and find me to check in that all is ok. Too precious. 

I have been quite protective of my time over these last 5 months which is why the blog posts have been fewer and far between. There is nothing like having a 12 and almost 9 year old before my eyes to remind me how quickly time passes by. I am trying to soak it all in as I watch these precious treasures growing up. I've been taking my time in discovering our new pace as a family and really allowing the Lord to re-shape the way I am raising these treasures. My mom blessed me with an amazing book that is changing my parenting-paradigms. It's call "Loving our kids on purpose" by Danny Silk. It is one of the best parenting books I have yet to read. Its showing me how fear-based my parenting has often been. The more I read, the more I am discovering God's amazing heart of freedom where my kids are concerned. I can't help but imagine how He is raising my Zac in Heaven ... in an environment of perfect love and freedom. If you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend it! I am learning what it looks like to live out a culture of honour and love at home. I can't tell you how much more peaceful it is around here as I am allowing God to teach me His principles of truth and freedom as I mother. 
Hopefully it won't be nearly as long till the next post. Missing you all and just had to say hi. 
Big heart hugs xxx