About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

28 February 2009

Beautiful Quote

"Yesterday will never return; Today will be whatever you decide to make it, and tomorrow may never come ... What are you waiting for?"

25 February 2009

Loves Perspective

This year a very familiar prayer keeps coming out of my heart and mouth - "Lord, help me to see things through loves perspective".
What is loves perspective?
Firstly, God is love. He will always look through the perspective of love. It's simply who He is. He will judge from the perspective of love. He will orchestrate and act motivated by love. Now I have to ask myself - is His love my motivator? Do I judge things accurately from the perspective of His love or purely from my human perspective and emotions? 
Love is such a flowery word at times.  But when reading the Bible and watching the way Jesus lived and responded as He walked the earth - His love is so strong! He spoke out passionately motivated by the love of the Father. He corrected the deceptions with the truth with such courageous strength! He was moved by compassion to heal, restore, deliver. The expression of that love moved Him to lay down His life for us in the most painful way. Love is so strong! His love always has action to it!!
As a Christian I am called to be a follower of Christ. The most important commandment is one to love ... to love God with all my heart, mind and body and then to love my neighbors as I love myself. Jesus went so far to remind us that all the commandments rest on that first command! As a Christian, my highest goal should always be to love with the strength of His love.
I am convicted by these simple truths, because I have experienced over and over again how complicated we make the gospel. The call is simply to allow Jesus to live through us each day. Therein lies the victory!! He can love through us daily if we just allow Him to. He can move our hearts in the direction to go ... He can give us the wisdom of how to respond in difficult situations. 
As a mother, what lays most importantly on my heart is for my children to see Christ for who He really is and to see them fulfill His purpose in their lives with joy and fulfillment. I carry this so heavily on my heart at times - feeling like a failure when I loose my temper etc.  But then I hear His calm voice assuring me once again that it can only be the strength of His love flowing through me that will enable me to play my role successfully. I know I am rambling on and on .... but I really just want this to be an encouragement to whoever will read this post. The encouragement is that His love for us is the strength of all that we do as Christians - it is the backbone that holds us up and keeps us moving forward. His love is also the heart and motivator for us each day. May you be encouraged today, even as I am with Loves Perspective. 

23 February 2009

Just thinking out loud ...

Last night I was "tinkling the ivories" while the kiddies were playing around the table, when a song stirred in my heart. As I was singing to the Lord, I heard His song to me ... "Simple moments with you ... simple moments with you ... simple moments with you ... just to share our hearts". So beautiful! Loud and clear I got it! So often I make my times with Him so complicated (I LOVE complicated routine for some reason that not even I understand!!!) ... I usually get all my Bibles out ... surround myself with the appropriate journal just in-case I need to write something down so I don't forget ... hunt for some good worship songs to be playing in the background ... then race to get my cup of steaming hot coffee (coz I just KNOW He wants me to share a cuppa with Him) ... and then I remember the highlighters! You HAVE to have multiple highlighters!!! Hee hee ... I can't help laughing at myself when I read my own honesty here!!!
Standing outside of it all I get this picture of God sitting with a BIG old grin on His face while I run around in circles getting everything ready to meet with Him while He is patiently waiting for me to just sit down and start chatting!!! It's the simplicity of sharing our lives with Him each day that cultivates the kind of love relationship that I want to share with Him and those around me. Sigh ... it's so simple isn't it?! I just LOVE Him!! 

18 February 2009

A love that inspires love

1Jo 4:15-21      "Whoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him and he in God.  And we have known and believed the love that God has in us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.  In this is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, that as He is, so also we are in this world.  There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love. We love Him because He first loved us.  If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar. For if he does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?  And we have this commandment from Him, that he who loves God should love his brother also. "

There is just sooo much in these verses that continually encourage, challenge and speak to me. Today He is gently reminding me that it all begins with His love for us! We love, because He first loved us.

My love for others should come as a direct result from daily receiving, meditating and resting in His amazing love for me.  I am going to stop there and just dwell on that for today. 

14 February 2009

"Total Abandon"

I just finished reading such an amazing book written by Gary Witherall called "Total Abandon". Him and his wife Bonnie served Jesus so fully and faithfully in Lebanon up until the moment she was gunned down in the clinic where she served as a missionary. She was martyred for the sake of the gospel - working in a clinic, shining the love of Jesus to all the women who came through those doors. His book is so honest and real about their journey - and his journey since her death in 2002. It has given me so much to think about regarding my own walk with Jesus and what it means to live with total abandon.

The journey that God has me on is the discovery of what "Love in Action" looks like. Bonnie has taught me so much about what that phrase means. She served the women who came to the clinic ... showed warmth and care in the way she dealt with them ... they devoted many hours of their time to learn to speak their language and showed such an honest love for the people.

I have been checking my own heart. Why is it that after being a Christian for so many years, it is possible to loose our compassion and zeal for the lost. Above all - that is what I note most in Jesus' ministry - He was MOVED WITH COMPASSION for people. Bonnie and Gary have taught me this again ... a love for the lost that goes against reason. 

From one Christian to another - I highly recommend this book. 


12 February 2009

Songs around the piano

Brett and I love the Lord so much and our greatest desire is to see our children falling more and more in love with Jesus Christ - serving Him out of their own passionate love relationship with Him ... having a personal, fulfilling, inspiring relationship with the God of this universe - our Creator and Saviour. I see that already with each of my girls. God has initiated a personal relationship with both of them. I love listening to their prayers - they are so honest and real!!!
Tonight was such a special moment for me. I felt God's gentle nudging to put off the TV, gather my little family together around the piano and begin to sing. What a sight!! While I played and Brett and I sang - the girls danced for their King. Then Brett called them to sit with me at the piano and each of us simply sang our own little songs to God. My heart just melted with love hearing their thoughts, songs and made-up-melodies. I have a tiny inkling of what the Father feels when He hears His children sing to Him. How beautiful! After we prayed and the children went to bed, I heard His gentle whisper "Thank you Jan". I could just weep!!! God doesn't "NEED" our praises - but oh how it touches His heart!
May tonight change me forever. God looks forward to our times with Him. May I stop all the "clutter" to make room for these glorious times in His Presence. Surely that is the most meaningful gift that I can impart to my children.  

11 February 2009

Hip-hip ... HOORAY!!

What a wonderful birthday I have had!! It has been an amazing day so far. I woke up to the best cup of tea that only Brett can make to perfection ... and the beautiful singing voices of my children, nieces, sister and hubby. There's no better way to start a birthday (although I missed you mom - I love your dedication to call at 1:30am ur time!!!).  
I have been reading messages all day, opening pressies, eating super-yummy food and just celebrating the wonderful life that God has given me and the gift of exceptional family members and friends spread all over this wide-spread world.
Wow ... 32 years on this earth!!! I am so thankful ... and I am believing God that the next 32 are going to continue to be as fulfilling and exciting. I have a good idea that He has many more adventures up ahead and I am so excited to embrace them!! So ... on that bold note ... BRING IT ON!!!

09 February 2009

Tianna's Birthday

My precious Tianna turned 8 this weekend! What a priveledge to watch her growing up in so many wonderful ways. I find it so humbling at times. She teaches me so much about God and myself - without even knowing it (ok - maybe sometimes she likes to think she knows way more than mommy!!).

She had such a lovely party and bithday surrounded by precious family and friends that really love her. Thank you Jesus form my treasure girl :-)


06 February 2009

Learning Complete Reliance

"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner ... So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it. " 1 Peter 4:12, 13, 19 (The Message Bible)
Today I am so very aware of how much I need God! When I look at certain areas and circumstances in my life, I am overwhelmed - but then I sense His embrace and I hear His whispers of encouragement and I begin to remember HOW MUCH He has already brought me through and how reliable He has always been! Already my heart is encouraged. Surely this is why the Psalms talk about "remembering" His mighty acts and the power of "thanksgiving". It is as much for me as it is for God - as I give Him thanks and remember His goodness and faithfulness, not only is He lifted up and glorified ... but my emotions begin to lift out of the places of discouragement, fear or despair and my perspective begins to clear to what He sees as possible.
How mighty You are my awesome God! Today I am facing a mountain - but I know that YOU ARE THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!!! All things are possible for you! (Matthew 19:26) There is NOTHING that is too difficult for you. No matter how big the mountain seems - faith in You is able to remove the impossibilities. (Matthew 17:19) Today I acknowledge my reliance on You ... the MIGHTY One!

03 February 2009

God's little suprises :-)

Today I am singing God's praises at the top of my voice. I just LOVE the suprises of my Heavenly Daddy! I got a call from my sis with the remarkable news that she is pregnant!!! She has the most gorgeous daughters - Janique (almost 10) and Ashlynn (8) and now God is entrusting them with another blessing.  I feel like such a proud aunty! I am now going to be aunty to 7!!!

Congrats Niqui and Ian!!

Ian, Janique, Ashlynn and my Tianna & Leelee