Hmmm ... I am in a thoughtful head space today. This could be a dangerous read as I am feeling rather vulnerable.
Lately I have been doing some soul searching about why it is that we as woman (I don't know - maybe men also do this) ... we feel compelled to wear masks to convince everybody that everything in our lives is "picture perfect". Maybe it is because we demand so much from ourselves ... or the expectations that we assume others have of us? I don't really know. I am looking at my life to see what masks I might be wearing. I am choosing to ask myself some hard questions.
Some of the the blogs that I follow leave me feeling that there is absolutely nothing that some of these amazing women cannot do. They always dress to the nines, make time to fit in everything from being creative to meeting all the demands of their busy family life (without loosing it with their husband or kids) and then still have enough time to blog an encouraging word out to whomever might read their message of the day. There is nothing wrong in any of that ... it's just that I think many times we create the illusion of what we want others to think our life looks like, when inside ... we are battling with our own humanity. Why do we find it so hard to admit that we hurt, or that sometimes we fail.
In all honestly, in some ways I started to feel resentful of this idealistic picture that I began to see ... until I asked myself why it was bothering my heart so much. Hmmm .... that's when the truth started to hit home, that just maybe I too am so busy trying to keep up the right appearance, but inside I am tired of trying to be all things to all people when all God is asking of me is to rest deeply in the amazing love that He has for me.
I read a verse in the Message Bible that has really struck a chord. It says “The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what He does for us, not by what we are and what we do for Him.” Romans 12:3 The Message Bible
Oh my goodness ... maybe that is really the core of what I am trying to get to the bottom of today. We are so used to "doing" for Him and others or trying to figure out who we are that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be so perfect in order to be accepted, when all along God is urging us to rest in what He has done for us! When we stop trying to work out who we are by what we are capable of doing and start resting in what HE has done for us ... that's when we get a true understanding of who we really are to Him. This post is totally for me tonight. I am having myself a little light bulb moment.
To finish off this thought, let me end off with a little verse I read for the first time today in the Message Bible. Psalm 138:8 “The Lord will fulfil His purpose for me; Your love oh Lord, endures forever.” His love for me endures through my good and bad moments .... and through it all, He will fulfill His purposes for me. I don't have to strive to live a picture perfect life. His love is going to see me through every moment that isn't as glamorous as I would like it to be, until it begins to shine with His love and grace.
I hope this speaks to others out there like me today. Everything doesn't have to be perfect for you to be able to accept and love yourself as God loves you. Wherever you are at right now, know that if you trust Jesus with your heart, He WILL fulfill every one of the amazing, adventurous and exciting plans and purposes He has destined for you to enjoy.
All my love, from a perfectly imperfect blogger xxx