About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

04 November 2010

Just to clarify ...

I am writing this post with a heart that is thumping so hard and fast. I am so heart sore.  It has come to my attention that I need to clarify my last post. This is a quick post to say that my previous post was my most honest post about what God is dealing with ME about. It was about me facing up to the stress of perfectionism that I have so often held myself to. It has been such a heavy burden to me for so long. Unfortunately someone close to me thought I was judging them and writing about them. Oh my goodness. That was so not my heart at all!!! If any of you felt that too ... please know that that was not my intention at all. My heart for my blog has always been to walk an honest journey before you of the lessons that God is teaching me. As I was writing that post, God was showing me how to walk in my freedom from having to paint a perfect picture of myself. I was not suggesting that all the blogs I read are superficial and paint a picture-perfect world that is untrue. I have been so enriched by the blogs I follow.

My heart is now so heavy. I can't sleep from the thought of unintentionally hurting another. Maybe this is my practical lesson of now having to trust God in the areas where I just failed. I have to rest in knowing that God knows my heart.

From a very real and not-so-perfect Janine


Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I have been in your shoes many times. Blogs are funny. We start writing them for ouselves. But along the way those we love and those we love reading, also share our experiences. And then things can get hairy. People read into what we write and sometimes feelings get hurt. Even when you were not talking about those people at all. I have cried big crocodile tears over this and even shut down my blog a few times over the years. But I am finally learning to write a blog for myself and if I offend people, I really am sorry. But I have also never asked a single person to read my blog. I do limit what I say in a lot of areas. Which bothers me that I am I guess as you say, wearing a mask. But over the years I have really opened up about my heartache and murky family life and such and those are the blog posts that best connect with people. The more open and honest I am, the more I connect.

But as for the bloggers who write about the great things in life. I think most people write the best parts of their lifes because it's more interesting. I don't think most people are perfect nor are they trying to fake it. I think they just blog about topics that are more comfortable and we read between the lines that they are forever fabulous. In reality we are all great and messy and fun and pretty and have bad hair days, etc.

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Adeye said...

Oh my Jan. How could anyone possibly think that you meant harm? I just don't get that. You are by far one of the sweetest people I have ever known in my life. Really.

Unfortunately blogging is just like this. You share your heart honestly and openly, and it is misunderstood. It happens more often that I can remember.

Please don't be burdened by it. Keep blogging for the Lord and keep allowing Him to use you here. I know all too well that it is not the easiest thing to express what is in your heart to say. You're doing a GREAT job--you are real, honest and transparent. Your blog shines the light of Christ.

Put this behind you and keep on keeping on. Okay? I love you much and am so thankful that I get to come here and read about all that the Father is doing in and through you.

Janine said...

Thanks my friend. Love and appreciate you very much!