Love in Action Journey

One of the things I loved about my visits to America when my mom used to live there was how distinct the seasons are. Autumn and Spring absolutely took my breath away with the visual beauty of the trees showcasing the seasons change. (I still keep some pressed autumn leaves in one of my Bible's as a special keepsake). Here in Port Elizabeth, South Africa our Spring is finally alive in colour as we get ready to welcome Summer. The days are warmer, the sun is setting later and the blooms are alive in colour which all makes my heart smile. Nature truly is like medicine to the soul. These are usually quite wind swept months for us, but as I took a walk outside, the smell of my 'yesterday, today and tomorrow' shrub in full bloom made me stop to take in the moment. This little bush always tells me when Spring has finally arrived. I wish you could smell it! It has such a sweet perfume, quite similar to the smell of jasmine.  Even though it's not particularly big, it astounds m...

I don't think any of us could ever have imagined what a crazy year 2020 would actually be! The whole world feels so very different, but I'm always amazed at our ability as mankind to dig deep, change and adapt.  Just as we've started getting a handle on our "new normal" (if i never hear those words again ...), our city has now been hit with a new crisis. They are calling it "Day Zero".  How jolly ominous does that sound! 😳 It's the shocking day that heralds the announcement that many areas in our city have run out of water!!! We've been in a drought for what feels like forever, but never did I actually think we would reach a day where the water would run out! The taps are dry. Broken underground pumps and pipes have contributed to the crisis which they are hard at work trying to fix, but certain areas have had no water for over a week already. I felt like I was in another world driving by a long line of people with their masks on (that in itself...

Lately the theme of "self care" seems to be jumping out in whatever I read. During a parenting course I've been attending online, we were discussing the importance of self care to keep us effective (and sane) as moms in the home. The presenter broke it down so beautifully. It is the wisdom of creating moments where you can catch your breath to do something meaningful for yourself, even if it's as simple as holding a cup of tea / coffee in your hands and practicing stillness to enjoy the moment fully. That picture spoke powerfully to my heart. I'm the queen of the juggle! The hardest thing for me is to not multitask! An ongoing theme in my life is trying to practice the art of stillness and consistency. That simple little picture of stillness keeps speaking to my heart. Often times we grab our moments of self-care "on the go". Instead of savouring what could be a refreshing moment to catch our breath, we rush it! I can't tell you how many times I...

Just before our crazy lockdown kicked in near the end of March, my clever husband decided to do some planting. He put in a lovely veggie patch that gave us some wonderful fresh veggies over the next few weeks. He also planted a small granadilla bush to creep up the beams of our veranda. He has faithfully been tending to it over the last 5 months, readjusting it's every curling frond to climb in the right direction. To be honest, I haven't taken too much notice of how much it's grown until I was having a cup of tea with a friend last week. The first thing she noticed when she walked through our front gate was the creeper. I was taken aback when I saw it through her eyes. Because the growth had been gradually taking place in front of me every day, I lost sight of just how quickly it was actually growing. Her surprise at seeing the change in just a few short months gave me fresh eyes when I looked at it. (It's a little like those facebook memories that pop up when you have...

Huddled under our veranda on a cold rainy day I got my hubby to snap me a quick pic of this beautiful bright rainbow to remind me of something important.  Just moments before we had all been snuggled under blankets in the tv room watching some catch up shows when one of us glanced out the window to find this huge big beautiful rainbow silently standing front and centre in our garden. We had been completely oblivious to its beauty, all wrapped up in our show. Unfortunately my photo doesn't do it enough justice in capturing just how bright this rainbow was, or the fact that there were 2 other rainbows faintly behind it. It was breathtaking! It was beautiful enough to make us hit the pause button on the telly and run outside into the cold and wind to get a better look. Honestly, each one of us commented that it had to be the brightest rainbow we had ever seen. After we took the pic, the cold won out and we raced back inside to our comfy blankets and carried on watching where we left o...

  Psalm 119:105  "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." (NIV) "Truth's shining light guides me in my choices and decisions; the revelation of Your Word makes my pathway clear." (The Passion translation) No matter who I speak to or what I read, there's no two ways that 2020 has thrown us all a radical curve ball. I don't personally know anyone who hasn't had to negotiate major change this year. We have all had to readjust, make changes and sacrifices and get quiet to seek new ways forward. With that process comes perspective and for that I am grateful, because when you really start asking God to readjust your course or direction, He gives you a new lens to see life around you especially in times of uncertainty. I count my blessings that both my parents and my parents-in-grace have always taught me to allow the promises of God's Word to be the foundation in my journey through life. No matter what situation I find myself in, it neve...

What interesting days we are living in! 2020 sure is absolutely nothing like anything any one of us could ever have anticipated. I have to laugh thinking back at my excitement at the beginning of the year of choosing my diary for the year ahead. My husband always laughs at how excited I get to fill out a new diary. He's all tech savvy and I'm old school when it comes to pretty stationary and books. This particular diary may just be the prettiest one I've chosen to date, but it's also become the most least used one that I've ever owned. 😂 None the less ... as I was contemplating life today on day 133 of lockdown here in South Africa, I finally found the urge to start writing again. So here goes my current ponderings about lessons I'm learning in lockdown.  I'm calling this one "The Hidden Gift in a World set on Pause" ...  Reflection is an interesting lens to look through. It often highlights moments in our life where we wish we had done certain ...

I had one of those moments today. You know those moments that give you an unexpected glimpse in the mirror and you see something that you don't quite like. I had been been standing in line to pay for my groceries. When it was eventually my turn, I greeted the cashier with a friendly smile and hello, genuinely wanting to acknowledge her and show her my appreciation. She in turn ignored me point blank and simply told me to swipe my reward card. Just like that my mood changed. She was so abrupt and uninterested in the friendliness that I had just shown her. In an instant my smile was gone and I stood there silently unpacking my groceries. She ignored me and I ignored her, all the while stewing in my head. I couldn't believe how "off" this woman was and how it had changed my attitude in an instant. Years ago I used to coach customer care training, so everything in me felt like imparting a lesson to this grumpy young woman. Thankfully, that quiet inner voice inside my hea...

This past weekend I had a real full circle moment in my life, and it is my joy to share it with you. 2 weeks ago marked our little boys 7 year anniversaries of the day he was born, and the following day ... when he got to choose Heaven. As his mommy, I realised very early on that I get to choose how I negotiate such an immense loss. As a wife and mother to my 3 other darlings, my choice has been to be real, honest and true to myself by fully acknowledging the many layers of grief, but in so doing ... to embrace healing so that I can honour my son's legacy by choosing to live, laugh and embrace life this side of Heaven until I finally get to hold him again.  These last 7 years have continued to teach me how Jesus stands closest to the brokenhearted ... and that He is a Restorer to all who allow Him to hold them in His love through the healing process. A huge key to healing for me has been to not suppress the pain, but to work each moment of longing, sadness, anger, regret e...

It has once again been quite some time since I have visited this special place. I'm always amazed at how quickly time passes. Visiting back "home" to my blog reminds me so much of that.  When I started this blog, my heart was for it to never just be about the number of followers ... but rather for it to be a place of vulnerability about my personal walk in embracing the love of Jesus and journeying to become more like him ... and trusting that that would be an encouragements to anyone needing hope. Originally it was an outlet for personal ponderings, encouragement and even a place to share my everyday life journey and milestones. I would never have imagined that so many posts would be around the journey of grief and healing and reaching out with hope to other parents who encounter child loss or grief. God has been very faithful to teach us as a family about hope after pain. These days, I choose only to write when He stirs my heart. I guess there are seasons in everyt...

A little while ago I wrote a post about  when the unthinkable happens , and all we can see or feel is the brokenness in our lives. It's in those moments that we are faced with the daily choice of whether to stay focussed on the pain ... or to recognise that we also have the choice to find beauty even in the midst of our pain. My journey these last 5 years has consistently taught me that there is One who stands closest to the brokenhearted and that He is more than willing to infuse me with strength and joy no matter how volatile the storm feels within, and that searching into His eyes calms the fiercest of storms.   At this point please allow me to give you a sneak peak into my humanity. Before you read the above and think even for a moment that I've mastered that art of choosing best all the time, let me assure you that I have by no means got it all together! Ask my family ... they will humour you with many stories of the work-in-process that I am. Take for instance...

Hello 2016 ... and hello JOY. Every year I seek a word that I can be mindful of growing and practicing in my life. This year I am being more mindful to CHOOSE JOY. I say "choose", because joy is so much more than just a feeling that randomly comes and goes. I believe it is a powerful choice that we can choose to embrace and welcome even in tough moments and situations.  Just yesterday my husband taught in church around the verse from Hebrews 12:1-2 which shares "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him , He endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat sown at the right hand of the throne of God." These 2 verses can be such an encouragement to us. Every day we are running the race of life. God in ...

There are times in our lives when it feels as if the cup falls from our hands and to our sorrow we see it crack or break. For some this could be dealing with disappointment, job loss, disability, injustice, betrayal and for others it could be loss or trauma. It was in a time like that in my own life where God taught me some really precious things that allowed me to see Jesus even more clearly than I had ever seen Him before …  as the master potter, craftsman and mender of my own heart. It was 4 years ago for me when I watched in slow motion as the beautiful cup that I treasured slowly fell and broke into what seemed to me like thousands of broken shards. My husband and I walked through what we thought was unthinkable … the loss of our precious little boy. Negotiating the pain of our own loss and the added hurt of seeing the loss and pain of our 2 little girls broke our hearts. But what I came to experience was a journey and a legacy that precious Jesus had entrusted to us … ...

I've been having one of this weeks where I'm not feeling 100% (getting over a head cold), and when I'm like this ... just one little piece of chocolate is most definitely not enough ;0) It's cold, I'm at home and all I can think of is the cookie jar and sweetie tin which is safely housed in my sweetie cupboard. Yes you heard me right ... in this house we most definitely have a sweetie cupboard. It was the first cupboard that was created and filled on my first grocery shop 18 years ago when I got married. I wish I could have captured Brett's face on camera that first shop. The man was shell shocked as he stood by and watched me put chocolate after chocolate into the cart. (I had not informed him about the sweetie cupboard quite yet). Here he was panicking that his petite little bride had big time plans on doubling in size. (hee hee) I calmly assured him that of course I planned on sharing :0) I have continued to explain to him over the years that the sweetie cup...

I don't know about you, but for me one of the giants that I tackle every now and then is self-doubt. Its that inner wrestle of how I could have or should have handled certain moments better than I did. Or the inner chiding that I should be doing more than what I am already doing ... or sometimes rather the fear that maybe I am not the best person for the job that has been given to me. Camp long enough in that headspace and you can really start to feel down. I was having one of those melancholy moments yesterday when the gem-of-a-husband that I have gave me a 2 minute pep talk and a big hug and all of a sudden the dark cloud above my head began to clear. Encouraging words and a heartfelt hug always bring hope and perspective back to the heart. As I was mulling over my feelings from yesterday I just had it on my heart to encourage you today. When is the last time you took a moment to appreciate and accept the gift that God made you to be? It sounds a funny thing to say, but ho...

Oh my goodness ... why this feels like a familiar place ;)  It's been absolute ages since I have blogged and yet somehow this little corner of blog-land feels like home. I may not get here very often, but when I do, I feel my heart begin to smile as thoughts start to flow from my heart. When I started thinking of all the many explanations and excuses I could make for my lack of postings here on my blog, I finally just stopped as one word in particular stood out in my mind ... the word " Seasons ". I had the opportunity almost 2 years ago to sit in a talk by a woman of God that I greatly admire. Her name is Sally. She and her husband have lived as missionaries for over 40 years and are amongst the most humble people I have met. They have been willing to go to places that I would never have dared to go to show love and share the goodness of God to those who are searching. The little talk she shared was simply her sharing her heart with a room full of ladies some of the...