About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

04 November 2011

5 Weeks Today

My Precious Zac,

5 weeks ago today you defied the odds and came into our world crying the sweetest cry that your mommy and daddy could ever hope to hear. The doctor's never thought that you would cry, but you showed them all my boy. Words like  "univentricular heart with a severe hypoplastic left ventricle syndrome"  followed by "major heart defect" ... "incompatible with life or corrective surgery" faded away as we finally got to meet you face to face. You were never anything but God's perfect gift to us my precious love boy.
As long as I live I will never forget the wonder of your birth. I will never forget drinking in the sight of you for the first time as I prayed, kissed, cuddled and sang to you while you gently cried in my arms. I would do anything to hold you in my arms right now.
Nothing could have given me more joy than seeing the bright glow of pure love that beamed from your daddy every moment that he was with you. The two of you shared the most incredible bond that still takes my breath away.

Your two big sisters miss you so very much. It makes mommy cry to see their pain at being separated from you this side of Heaven. I understand just how they feel and feel exactly the same way, but we all just keep reminding each other that one of these days we will all be back together as a family, lavishing all our love on you. I know you know this ... but you truly do have the bravest and most beautiful big sisters who absolutely adore you.
We hold onto the gift of every one of those 21 precious, joy, peace and intensely love-filled hours that we shared with you. You were so strong to give us all the time that you did. The doctors said that you were "incompatible with life", but my brave lion heart ... you were the very carrier of the life of God to all who have read your story or spent time with you. Your time with us, in and out of my womb, exuded the life and "heart peace" that came from the presence of God within you. Mommy and Daddy often say to each other that we would endure all the pain all over again just to have experienced the gift of your life. We love you our son. We know that Jesus is taking the best care of you. Please ask him to give you a special kiss on the nose from your mommy.

Love from mommy xoxox


Anonymous said...


Denise Malafaia Cerqueira said...

Friends, family, Zac!
How valuable to see what God has done in you and through you to my heart as a daughter of God, then his sister.
I can not speak for others, but I know that many people are blessed and edifying lessons learned from history that was written by God using the small, but exciting trajectory of Zac. It seems that I'm talking about the same thing, but I have to tell you how this all has moved me and filled me with wisdom. I am a writer, I'm actually just starting to write and experience of you has enriched my writing.
Since I started to know about you, God has shown me things that I have sought for some time know.
Glorify the Lord for all he has allowed us to live. Because this our passage here is to be glorified because he is not here our eternal place.
I want to be like that soon Zac shouted at full lung to all who were there, and that we could hear from afar: God is Almighty and he does what he wants. What can not happen, according to men, with their exact sciences and "proven in the lab," he does, to tell him who's boss here, hallelujah! He said it in such a short lifetime. He proclaimed in season and out of time. We have taken so long to declare this to the world, and sometimes never do. The waste of life!
Let us not miss this time of learning and that everyone knows who is our God. Let's shout to let everyone know as did Zac, against all expectations of science.
The grace, peace and consolation of God the Holy Spirit continue to fill your hearts guarding them in Christ.
I love you, precious brothers!

Jedidja said...

I am thinking of you and praying for you all.

CinderellaMommy said...

Praying now to our God, Heavenly Father, for His peace to continue to fall upon your hearts & minds.

Niqui said...

What an amazing honour it was to be able to hold and cuddle our little lion heart!

Gosh I miss him so very much.

My heart is comforted with the truth that our sweet Zac is with Jesus.

I love you my Jan.


Reformed rebel said...

Hi Janine
Isn't the love of Jesus just so wonderful?! The strength that has been given to you, and your family, by our wonderful Lord still amazes me. He is so good! Praying for you for continued peace. Thank you for sharing your story. You are a blessing to me.

Adeye said...

Oh my beautiful. It is with tears streaming down my face that I write this. I can just imagine sweet Zac running on streets made of gold and wishing that you were right there with him. Some day soon, my friend. And I can hardly wait to give him a cuddle and kiss his sweet little nose too :)

I love you sooooooo much. Longing for the glorious day that He returns and takes us all home.

Carol F said...

Oh my Janni, my heart is with you, Brett & girlies. Our precious Zac David leaves an indelible love mark on our hearts forever!
All my love,