About Me

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South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna (15) and Angelee (12) and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. 3 years ago our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! "Love in Action" is our journey as a family to love the way Jesus is teaching us to love and live.

Blog Archive

02 October 2011

So much Love even When it's hard to Breath

On the Friday the 30th September at 16:47, our precious son entered this world with the most precious cries heralding his grand arrival. Hearing his voice made our hearts leap with joy unspeakable. He weighed in at 2.32 kgs, 46cm long and his head 31cm. We got to hold him immediately after being weighed ... moments we will treasure in our hearts for all eternity. Precious friends, the last 3 days have been filled with so many life changing emotions since then. As we process as a family, I will try to express as I am able just some of what we have lived through this weekend. We are still very much feeling like we are in the middle of something so much greater than just ourselves. It will take time to settle. I have the most beautiful photos to share with everyone of the amazing 21 hours we shared with our precious Zac David Robinson. This son of ours will forever have shaped and changed our hearts. When I am released from hospital and have my pc and the emotional strength, I will share bits of our journey. Today's post is simply to say that Brett and I have been deeply impacted by the love that lies with great strength within the body of Christ. You have all been a part of this miracle story. Jesus has already spoken so powerfully through Zac. I rest in Him knowing that it is faith only that pleases God. That doesn't mean that we will always understand all the details. It's enough to know that Love Himself leads us through all we will ever have to face. We will not move our eyes off of His! He has become our everything. He has already given us the most sweetest moments with our son. Praising Jesus from a broken heart today, but knowing that He stands so close and is at work even here and now. Janine and Brett

42 comments:

Jonana said...

Praying for you.

Debbie said...

Thanks for allowing us in.what a God we serve who makes u able to be such a channel of blessing to so many. X

Kristin said...

My heart aches for you and your family. Thank you for sharing and please know that I will be praying for you and your family. God bless you.

Kristin said...

My heart aches for you and your family. I will be praying for you, your family and for precious Zac. Thank you for your bravery sharing your story and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

My treasured angel, your desire for Jesus and your incredible faith and love for our saviour, despite your broken heart, encorouges me to get to know HIM EVEN more. My heart aches for u, and yet u continue to inspire me to stand firm no matter what! God is so proud of u my angel friend! I miss u SO much Jan! My prayers are with u, Brett and the girls....love Robyn x

Noelle said...

Oh Janine...I love you and your family. I will continue to pray that you will all feel of God's peace and love. I know that you will see your precious Zac again one day.

Debra said...

My dearest Janine and Brett. Our God is a Faithfull God and by His word, Zac was healed. Zac is now sitting at the right hand of our Father as a 'perfect & healthy child'. You will get to see him again one day and hold your precious son in your arms. Your journey of Faith has touched so many hearts and will continue to do so! All my Love .. Debs xx

Princess in the Kingdom said...

I have been witness to the most incredible example of the Body of Christ in action. No words can describe how you and your family's journey have impacted my life. Thank you baby Zac! This is one heart that will forever be changed.

rosedel said...

I am praying for your peace and acceptance. I am praying that you feel blessed and loved.

Freedom Hollow Farmgirl said...

So sorry for the loss of your precious little one. I came to your blog from ADeye's. I will be praying for you and your family as you walk this journey of grieving for your precious boy. Safe in the arms of Jesus.

Blessings and hugs,
Suzanne

Margy said...

My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers. There is an International support group called "The Compassionate Friends", it's a support group for parents who have lost a child. I just read about it in my church bulletin. It seems you have deep faith and that will carry you far but the support of other's who know your pain will be helpful too.

Peace,

Margy

Freshly Found said...

Thank you for sharing this all with us. Whew! Thinking of you all.

colleen said...

I am so heartbroken by the news of little Zac,and for u all.the heartache u must be going must be unbearable but as I read ur post u have so much faith love trust in Jesus its amazing and knowing that and what u have been thru the last 21hrs and weeks before ,what I have/still going thru is nothing except that we serve an awesome God is loving,kind,patient,everlasting and all I can say is that is in Heaven with his heavenly Father who has made him whole and is lying in Jesus' arms waiting to play with u one day janine,brett and his sisters....

Momma "B" said...

You don't know me, but just wanted you to know that another Christian Momma is holding you up before the throne as you work through these difficult days ahead. Your faith is inspiring! Hugs, Selina

Anonymous said...

My precious Jan and Brett,As I read your blog my treasure friend..I am crying tears of incredible Joy+tremendous Sadness..What a journey,What precious moments shared with your Darling Son,Zac and in and through it all..Such comfort..one of my Favourite Hymns comes to mind..In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Love you 4 heaps!

Gigantic loves+hugs to u+your entire family

Love Don,Ange,John-Luc and Hannah xxxx

Earl said...

Dear Brett and Janine,
I will never be able to know, or even begin to understand, your pain and all you're going through right now. What I do know is that God uses even our pain to build His kingdom. From what I read on your blog and on all the face book comments, I can see that this is especially true in this situation. God is using Zac's short life to glorify Himself, and your faith truly is a testimony to all of us.

I'm sure that there are moments that you really do not want to be a testimony at all; you just want Zac in your arms healthy and strong... That's okay too, because it's important for you to grieve and to release your feelings. Nobody can be strong all the time - not even Jesus could do it when He walked on earth, because He also cried and begged the Father to let the cup pass by Him. And yet, He obeyed and followed his Father through the pain and suffering. I know you'll do the same, but it doesn't make anything any easier or better, does it? There are just no words to truly comfort you when your heart is overwhelmed with grief - I know this from experience...

All I can leave you with, are these words that I feel is for you tonight: "Love changes everything!"

I love you both very much, Earl

Shelby said...

Praying for you. There are no words to express how sad I am for your loss, but also how much I rejoice that you are determined to give your broken heart to Jesus for Him to continue to use Zac's life as a testimony. I know many have been and will continue to be impacted by your journey. Trusting Him always...Shelby

Anonymous said...

Oh Janine,Brett,& family,

I live thousands of miles aaaway in Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. We will probably never meet face to face in this life but I'm so thankful for our Lord and His unchanging love. I found your journey frrom Adeye's blog. Know that my family is praying for you. We are so thankful for the precious hours you had with Zac and for the promise of unending tomorrows in eternity. Our love. VH

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your precious family.
Hannah
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I am so happy to know that you had those special hours with sweet Zac. Praying for your heart and head to make peace and heal. Sending you love and hugs!!

KK

Kelli said...

I read this earlier, but couldn't find the words...still can't. You've been on my mind all day as I cried out to God "WHY???". I know it's not for me to understand, but I am still searching, devestated, saddened, asking Him "WHY?" I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I wanted you to know that I am here, praying for your comfort and peace, and also for your precious daughters, I know it will be hard on them. I am so sorry. Words cannot express the love I wish to give you and I can only tell you I love you and am praying. Again...I am so sorry...love and hugs to each of you!
Kelli

Tracy said...

Hi Janine and family - I will continue to pray for you guys, for peace and healing. Your faith will stand you in good stead.
God bless
Tracy

Lee-Anne said...

Janine, praying for you and your family as you walk this difficult road but knowing that God can comfort more than any words I can offer. Much love and hugs, Lee-Anne

Susan A said...

I am so grateful that you have spent precious times with Zac, and sad at the same time that he has gone to be with Jesus. Praying for His comfort to be upon you all.

Patti said...

I wish I had words to say...Heaven is a sweeter place with your boy there. I've lost three tiny babies over the years, and the thing that helped me through the most was knowing this life is but the blink of an eye compared to eternity. Praying for your beautiful and broken hearts during this difficult time....oxox

Kathryn said...

Hi Janine, a mutual friend gave me your blog details....
My heart breaks reading it, I admire and respect you for your Faith and strength. I too lost a baby boy (Thomas)to a heart defect (his left ventricle and aorta did not develop). We were advised to terminate as there was NO chance of survival, i was 23 weeks pregnant, we did......
Like you said "we dont always understand all the details", but i do know that without losing Thomas, I would never have turned to Him, and I do know that one day we will be together again.
I Pray that the Lord will wrap his arms around you and your family and give you Peace and comfort.
with love, Kathryn

Zeeuwse Mama said...

Via Adéye I read about your son Zac, and I prayed, together with so many others. We lost our (twin) baby son Jonathan 8 years ago 15 hours after birth, Zac and Jonathan are safe in Jesus arms now...
I'll share a poem with you... and your family is my prayer...

The invisible cord...

We are connected,
My child and I,
by an invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
By any on earth.

This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…
I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take it away!

bothabunch said...

Janine, my heart breaks for your loss (words cannot console or capture the grief you feel) but the way you are dealing with it in strength, love and grace is such a blessing! "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning". Psalm 30.5. He promises remain true through the pain, loss, disappointment and anger.
May you forever treasure those precious moments with your beautiful boy,he will always be a part of your heart!
All our love and blessings!
Kerry
xx

Jedidja said...

...To the door we have guided you, you went in - we were standing outside
Time slipped under our hands on. But in our hearts the memory:
A lamb that rested at the Good Shepherd and His arms were carried into the glory ...

I pray for you all.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. I hope your faith and the prayers of others will bring you all comfort and peace soon. xx

Team Bedzyk said...

My heart aches for your family. Our prayers are with you and baby Zac- who is resting in the arms of our Saviour. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jan what an amazing blessing it has been to participate from a distance on u'r journey and to see God's provision and u'r beautiful son. Wow He truely has surrounded u as the mountains surround Jerusalem and u stand as a family glorious in His strength blessed and overwhelmed by His goodness and love and grateful I am praying for u all that He continues to hold u all up.. Sam jensen

Nealy said...

Your faith is beautiful to behold and I am honored to share your joy and grief. My heart aches for you as it did for my nephew and his wife when their precious son, Jacob Mitchell Jones, was born 4-20-99 in Fort Worth, Texas without lungs. So perfectly formed otherwise, every beautiful blonde hair on his head, 10 tiny fingers and toes; how could he not live? Jacob developed a hernia in the womb that pushed his lungs into his chest so far they could not develop. I was blessed to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I loved him and thanked Jesus for His precious gift. Like you, I trust my Savior in all things and wonder how I could survive otherwise. "Rejoice, again I say, Rejoice!" God bless you, Sweet Family.

Anonymous said...

just wanted to let you know that my thoughts & prayers are with you ... Heidi from Australia

Marinda said...

Janine, Brett and Family - most of us don't know the sorrow and pain coupled with joy and thanksgiving that your family is enduring. All I know is that Jesus is faithful and true and that He NEVER does anything without purpose. "I'm sorry" can never soothe the pain, saying "trust God" will not remove the void so all I can say is "may God's love envelop your precious family in this time and may you KNOW His peace. I also pray that your two girls would forever hold on to Jesus - this could be a very difficult time for them, kiddos don't always fathom and understand - But God!!! God bless you friends, sending hugs and prayers from New Zealand. Marinda

Anonymous said...

So very sorry to read of your loss. Praying God's comfort to surround you.
-Amy in GA

Susan said...

Praise God for the time you had with your son! Your strength and faith are so inspiring. Your son's life made an impact on others long before he was born. I see a vision of him smiling and running into your arms when you arrive in heaven. It will be at that moment that you truly realize how fleeting our time is on this earth, whether it be 21 hours or 99years.

In the meantime, while we are still in this life, we suffer pain and grief and broken hearts. My prayer is for God's peace for you as you endure this. As you grieve the loss of years you'd hoped to enjoy with him in this life, I pray that the joy of knowing you have a son dancing in the meadows of heaven brings you great comfort and a sense of perfect anticipation.

Mandy said...

Touched my heart! Pray for you.

Jo's Corner said...

Dear Janine and Brett ~ I'm sorry. And, I'm sad...for your family and all who loved sweet Zac even before he was born. But, in spite of the sadness, my heart is filled with great joy that your precious son is in the arms of Jesus and that you will all be reunited someday.
My prayers will be many, for all of you during the difficult days and moments. Sending love from Minn*sota, UsA. ~ Jo

EJN said...

Janine,
May our God of peace bring you comfort, I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through.
So very, very sorry for the loss of your precious son.
Praying Comfort for your family at this time,
Jojo

The Tame Lion said...

I'm always here to support you.

Kelli said...

I cried myself to sleep last night as I prayed for your family. And I wanted to tell you about October 15th. Here (U.S.) it is a national day of Remembrance for babies lost in miscarriage, and infants lost after birth. I am lighting 2 candles for my 2 babies lost to miscarriage, 1 for my nephew who died at 3 months, and I'll be lighting one for Zac.

As moms, we never forget. I like to think that a part of my heart is missing, and I'll never be the same, but that part is with each baby, up in heaven. I like to think it keeps them close to me, until we meet again. And in my heart - the part that hurts, keeps them close to me. The hurt lessens but never completely goes away (at least for me). It is a comfort to me and a reminder. I know I'll see them again,and until then, who better to hold them than Jesus? I just want you to know the pain lessens, but you'll never forget him, you will ALWAYS be his mommy, and he is blessed that God entrusted him with you. you are such an amazing woman of God, and you have given me so much strength. Thank you for sharing your journey and your pain and your faith. You are a blessing to me. God is faithful, loving and our Comforter. I pray for your comfort every day. Take Care!!