About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

13 August 2011

"Fearless Confidence" ... why I can have it!

Firstly ... thank you so much for all the prayers that have been prayed with us for our sweet baby boy! All the love and encouragement Brett and I have experienced is so humbling! I can honestly say that both us and the girls have such "heart peace". It is a peace that can only come from God Himself.
We just heard that our appointment in Cape Town with the pediatric heart specialist is on Tuesday. Brett and I are seeing this as an opportunity for God to do a creative miracle in our little boys heart so that when we go to the scan they won't be able to find anything wrong :0) I have received so many amazing messages of hope and encouragement from so many that have absolutely saturated Brett and my heart. A constant verse that keeps coming through is from Psalm 139:13-14 (Amplified Bible) "For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mothers womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well." I stand in awe that God has given man the knowledge and ability in this day and age to be able to fix hearts. I have been so encouraged from many who have had to walk this route of open heart surgery with their babies and have seen the faithfulness of a miracle working God shine through. This encourages Brett and I deeply! Right now, up until we hear otherwise we are asking the One who is still knitting our little boy together in my womb to knit his little heart whole before he is born. 
I want to share with you today how real God has made Himself known to me in all of this, because my heart is so much that it be an encouragement to anyone who might read this to see Jesus standing in the midst of their tests or storms.
I shared with you in my earlier 2 posts how before we even knew that there was anything wrong with Zac, minutes before my scan God gave me 2 promises from Colossians 1 that He has given me "heart peace" and also that having faith means to lean entirely and trust completely in His power, wisdom and goodness. As I was having the more detailed scan on Tuesday I again heard His gentle whisper that His peace covers Zac's heart.
Yesterday as I was getting ready for the day all these thoughts assailed my mind. You know ... the "what if" kind of thoughts. Immediately I started wondering where I had read in the Bible that we are to be "fully convinced" that what we have asked in faith He is able to do. I needed to hear Him assure my heart again that we can indeed ask for Zac to be healed without a surgeons knife ever touching his little body. Even as a type this, it is a faith test for. But here comes my encouragement to you of how close Jesus is to us even in the workings of our thoughts ... as worry started to build in my mind, my phoned beeped. It was probably 3 minutes after thinking about looking up this verse. As I opened my phone, some precious friend had typed out that exact verse and sent it to me!!! My Jesus is even sifting through the very thoughts in my head to assure that incredible "heart peace". Here's the passage sent to encourage me: "No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, FULLY CONVINCED that God was able to do what He had promised." Romans 4:20-21. How exact is that! Word for word encouragement on the exact wording I was asking God about! Later in the day another friend sent me this encouragement from 1 John 5:14-15 "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him."
I share these promises with you today to encourage you with whatever you need a miracle for. You and I can have fearless confidence in God, not because of anything we do, but simply because of all that He is. He is love. He is the God of the impossibles. Ask Him for a promise to hold Him to. He delights to bring His promises to pass!
As if I had not been encouraged enough, just before I went to sleep my phoned beeped again with another message. A friend sent me the meaning of Zac's name in her name book: "God remembers His children and His promises. The bearer of the name is a witness to this and represent it in his calling." The verse attached says "Nevertheless, I will (earnestly) remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth and I will establish with you an everlasting covenant." Ezekiel 16:60
Oh my gracious ... how can I worry at all when my God has filled my heart with such direct promises!!! This my dear friends is why Brett and I are able to have joy in the midst of the craziest storm we have ever faced. This is the only reason why our hearts are secure in peace. May you too lean entirely into all that He is knowing that His power, wisdom and goodness is strong enough to calm whatever storm you may be facing too.
All my love xxx


Noelle said...

We too prayed that our Emily's heart would be healed. God had other ideas for our little one, but I have seen miracles regardless, during Emily's one week of life. I hope that you get the miracle you are praying for, but if not I know that God will give you the miracles He thinks are best for you! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Oh WOW.... the meaning of Zac's name is enough of a testimony! Your jouney with Zac is such a testimony of Love, Faith, Grace and your transparency. xx

Maritsa Appollis said...

I just read your wall on facebook and then googled you to find the blog people spoke of, so here I am. I read the last two posts, and all I can say is God is faithful. He will be your peace when you're at the specialist tomorrow, and He will be your strength whatever the news. I believe with you for a miracle before birth, but even if the miracle needs to come through surgery, our Lord is true to His word to bring forth the exact testimony He had in mind for Zac's life even before conception... Already this stressful time and the way you're handling it with so much faith is a testimony to all of us who know you. God knows best and His will shall be done in all of this. Much love to you and Brett, from me and Earl

Leisel said...

Our God is an awesome God!! You are not alone my friend. LOL