About Me

South Africa
My husband, Brett and I live in beautiful South Africa and have been blessed with the most precious family. We have 2 very beautiful and brave daughters, Tianna and Angelee and a very precious little boy called Zac who touched our hearts forever in his 1 day here on earth. We never would have imagined that we would have to live this side of Heaven without our sweet boy who was born with half a heart, but every day Jesus carries us through and is teaching us more than ever how to live, laugh and love fully. A year and a half later, our faithful Great Restorer graciously blessed us once again with another son ... our beloved Gabriel ... a ray of sunshine in all our lives! This blog has been a place where I have been able to journal my journey through loss, hope and choosing to live a life rich in love.

Blog Archive

30 November 2010

Redeeming Love

Today's post bears no pictures ... but certainly words spoken straight from my heart.

Today I took an early morning flight into my birth city, Johannesburg. It was such a wonderful feeling to see the familiar sights after a long year away from where I grew up as a child. Most of my family still lives here which is why I love to keep coming back as often as possible. This visit is different from any other visit I have ever come home for. This visit holds certain painful goodbyes for me ... but because God is who He is ... LOVE incarnate ... it has also unfolded some incredible new beginnings and loved expressed in rich and healing ways.

I don't remember having felt so many different contrasting emotions all bundled into one day. Today I looked into the eyes of a mother figure who has always been a part of my life and realized that my time with her is short and so very precious. My amazing God helped me to see past the pain of seeing her body so wasted away and to look into her heart and realize that she is still the same precious woman I have always known and loved. It is a privilege to be with those you love and see the Lord preparing them for their graduation. He is so  gentle and gracious. He gives to us the time that we need when we look to Him in trust. All He does is covered in purpose and love. Today I witnessed the extents to which He will go to bring a person peace of heart. I stand in awe of a God who cares so deeply about the condition of each of our hearts.

Some things are too personal for me to blog ... and my heart is in a place of processing so many deep emotions. What I will share is that I have seen God take any opportunity that we give Him to bring peace and reconciliation in our relationships. I had the honor of watching another person that I love dearly risking their heart to be obedient to God's prompting to show mercy where it was not always deserved. I am humbled by this. To see a person walk in the freedom that comes from risking their heart to love is inspiring. Knowing how much He loves us compels us to love even those who have hurt us. As I watched this act of love - a reaching out - my heart was restored. Even in the process of releasing someone I love so dearly, God has shown me how He has added into my life those whom I can celebrate life with. 

On a lighter note, tomorrow I have to share some pictures of my sweet nieces that I am staying with. Oh my goodness ... what a sweet time being with these precious ones who I don't get to see nearly enough of. I promise to share pictures soon. 

With a heart fully spent I am getting ready to go to sleep now. As I do that I can truly say that I am so thankful for the precious family He has placed in my life ... those who have been there from my beginnings ... and those that He has graciously added into my life over these past few years. 

All my love xxx


Kate said...

beautiful and inspiring post today :)


Pretty Pink Ribbons said...

...time is a precious commodity indeed, and He has given us this gift to use in the most amazing way. I can't beginning to understand what you must be feeling, but just know that I am here for you. And even in the midst of everything surrounding you, you still maintain a beautiful serenity that emulates from your tender heart. It was so good to see you and to meet your precious gran too! Can't wait to see you again tomorrow, in which we will create more precious memories!

Prayerfully thinking about you today and sending you all my love!

Nisha xoxoxo

Adeye said...

Oh my Jan, boy do I know and understand. It is not easy--but our Daddy is just so kind and gentle with us at times like this. Know that my prayers are with you in the days to come. May He envelop you in His tender embrace.

I love you so much.

Amanda said...

I'm following you from traveling through thursday! If you have a moment could you follow me back? Thanks!!



Ron Cooper said...

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