Love in Action Journey

I can hardly believe that it has been exactly 2 years since Zac entered our lives and then a day later went home to Heaven. Yesterday was his 2nd birthday and today his 2nd "angelversary". These 2 days of the year especially allow me to reflect back and remember the moments that continue to impact our hearts. 2 years ago today I could barely breath. For the first time in my life I experienced what desperate longing truly felt like. My son had taken his last breath in my arms as I sang over him. It was the most peaceful, serene moment. There was no fear or panic or trauma. One moment he was looking into my eyes, and the next he was looking into Jesus' eyes. That moment was so sacred ... but it was the pain that came after when I realised that I would never be able to have the privilege of raising him this side of Heaven. There are no words for that kind of desperation. As a parent you would do anything to change things, but it is not in your hands. There are only a few ...

This time of year is a very tender time for me. I see a few heart-sore moments every now and then with my girls and hubby as we remember. The heart ache resurfaces in little ways and allows us to become honest in negotiating different layers in the grief journey. This time of year approaches the 2 year mark since our precious Zac was born and then passed on. The memories often flash through my mind in unguarded moments. I've learned to embrace the memories even with the tinge of pain that they bring. I've come to learn that being honest with the process of grief and having to negotiate pain does not in any way diminish the incredible work of healing, joy and restoration that God has so lovingly been pouring into our hearts. In fact, being honest to face it in truth with Jesus just allows deeper aspects of healing and restoration. Time with Jesus has shown me over and over again that with the pain, there is always healing and grace in His outstretched hands. As painful as some ...

Over the last week the Lord has been speaking to me about the significance of having "fresh bread" in the house. Intrigued? So was I.  It started a week ago when I was asked at short notice to share with a special group of ladies anything that the Lord had laid on my heart. I had been reading some passages earlier in the week that had spoken to my heart, so I thought I would draw on that. But that's when the Lord dropped the words "Fresh Bread" in my heart.  I started with the story of how God fed His children for 40 years as they negotiated their journey towards the promised land. Exodus 16:11-35 tells the story of their discovery of this manna from Heaven. I found God's heart in His instructions to the Israelites so fresh and telling to me in my journey with Him. Here's a little of what spoke to me in this story of God's provision ... 1) God's first instruction to them in verses 16 - 18 was for each household to gather as much manna as ...

Crazy title ... but hear me out. Lately as I have been seeking out the Father's voice for my life, I hear him pointing out the SIMPLE stuff. Take for instance this morning.  My heart's cry has always been for God to use my life for His glory, to make a difference with His love, but sometimes when I take a good look at my life I can't help but look up, arch and eyebrow and wonder when that BIG moment is finally going to arrive? What is that one BIG THING that He has called me to? It doesn't necessarily look like my life has yet to make a big impact on a world so full of hurting hearts. Ever feel the same? Well, as I was pottering about the house, the doorbell rang and a familiar homeless man was back asking for something to eat. I was in my pj's about to write a 'deep blog post' about hearing God's voice ;0) Honestly, making something to eat was the last thing I felt like doing. And that's when I heard Him. "Here's an opportunity Jan. ...

I have been missing this cozy corner in blog-land for far too long. It's a rare quiet moment. The girls are out having fun at Holiday Club and boyzie is fast asleep. I have a silly grin on my face as I try remember how to use this key-board after way too long ;0) To kick off ... here are a few pics of my precious growing-up-way-too-fast treasures ...  Mr. Gabe is 5 months old already! He loves nothing more than being outside and out and about with mommy. He clearly has a big wide world of wonder to explore and is soaking it all up. I can't keep him inside for too long. I love his simple wonder at life around him. It's teaching me to find joy in the everyday simple things in life.  He is totally enraptured by all the love that his 2 best big sisters in the whole wide world lavish on him every day. Nothing makes my heart smile bigger than seeing the bond that these 3 share with one another. I love watching him laugh at all their crazy antics! They are such big help...

When Gabe was born, very precious friends of our blessed us with a family photo shoot. Thank you so much my special Jess and Brad Peens Photography for these precious pictures we will always treasure.  Our beautiful girls.  They seriously are such wonderful big sisters to their little brother!   Their joy is a beacon of God's faithfulness to restore all things.   I cannot tell you how much this little guy adores his big sisters.  This is one of my favourites. Each one holding a precious place in my heart.    And here are a few of our rainbow baby boy.   Gabriel: "Mighty man of God".  These next two show you EXACTLY what goes on at family photo shoots :) Because of that, they are amongst my faves! hee hee  hee hee hee.   And finally ... a winning shot of all eyes on the camera ;0) You are a hero Brad for all your patience!   These pics are so special to us. I wore ...

Recently I was contacted by a precious blogging friend who asked me to share Zac's story with her readers. As a mother of 10 precious children, she has walked an amazing journey and knows what it is like to walk with her hand firmly held in Christ's. It was a real privilege for me to do this. I decided to share it here today, as my little boy has so been in my thoughts and heart. This journey of negotiating grief still comes in waves for me. There are days where my heart longs for Heaven so much. Today is one of them. Thankfully, the longing comes with peace. A knowing that there is coming a glorious day where I will hold all my children once again. Until then, I will continue to share Zac's story trusting the love and grace of God to meet other hurting hearts with the same amazing grace that He met our hearts. Here's my post. "Sometimes you get MORE" Our story is by no means an easy story to share and many might read it as a "sad story", b...