What interesting days we are living in! 2020 sure is absolutely nothing like anything any one of us could ever have anticipated. I have to laugh thinking back at my excitement at the beginning of the year of choosing my diary for the year ahead. My husband always laughs at how excited I get to fill out a new diary. He's all tech savvy and I'm old school when it comes to pretty stationary and books. This particular diary may just be the prettiest one I've chosen to date, but it's also become the most least used one that I've ever owned. 😂 None the less ... as I was contemplating life today on day 133 of lockdown here in South Africa, I finally found the urge to start writing again. So here goes my current ponderings about lessons I'm learning in lockdown.
I'm calling this one "The Hidden Gift in a World set on Pause" ...
Reflection is an interesting lens to look through. It often highlights moments in our life where we wish we had done certain things differently. That’s the gift of hindsight as they always say … somehow outside of the frenzied moments we live in, with time and maturity one can often see clearer and better ways to have handled or seized certain moments. But caught up in the crazy hamster wheel of life, there just never seems to be enough time to stop the wheel long enough to make the shifts that can bring the change or quality of life that we actually long for.
My eldest daughter often calls me a “happy-hippy” who tends to see life as an eternal optimist. While life has certainly dealt me some tough knock-downs, my take on it all is that it’s painful enough to go through those hard knocks in the first place, so why on earth stay there longer than necessary other than to heal, glean what you can to help others and then move forward. I’m also someone who has been so aware of the kindness and goodness of a very loving God who has always been present through whatever it is that I’ve negotiated. So when the nation was called to that historical presidential address calling us to a season of lockdown, I actually felt quite relieved that we were being called to a forced season of rest. The first 30 days were actually great. We did puzzles, watched movies, baked loaves of bread and far too many cookies. We went to bed late and woke up late. We actually missed exercise so we ran loops around our garden. We heard bird calls that we had never heard before as the world around us became so much quieter. But even for a “happy-hippy” like me, when the realities hit home of lost income and the mundane routines of cook, clean, repeat set in, I needed a moment that only God could bring, to pull me out of a funk that I don’t usually allow myself to sit in. I needed that perspective shift that He’s so good at giving. He opened my eyes to the hidden gift of a world set on pause.
On day who-can-even-keep-count of lockdown life, I realised that we have all been presented with the ultimate gift in this surreal season. The hamster-wheel of life and world as we know it has actually paused longer than we’ve ever known and given us the one thing that money can never buy … time! Time to sit in moments long enough to not only reflect, but to stop and see what is most important in our lives. Time to connect intentionally with those who should always come first in our lives, but often don’t. Time to laugh and build memories with family instead of living past each other. Time to embrace the simple joys in life that don’t necessarily cost money as the extravagances have been stripped away. Time to be grateful for what we do have instead of trying to fill our emptiness with things that don’t fulfil for long. Time to truly miss and long for connection with our friends, extended family and fellow humans that we begin to see afresh the gifts in those around us and why it is that we miss them so. Time to realise again how we were built for touch as we long for the days we took a simple comforting hug for granted. Time to appreciate that having something to put our hands to and earn a living is a privilege we probably won’t easily take for granted again. Time to cultivate a heart of compassion that sees even the smallest ways we can afford to pay it forward and help our fellow man with acts of kindness or encouragement. Time to actually be in an honest moment with our own heart and assess if we truly are living, developing and growing or just surviving. This can be quite a painful process, which is maybe why we run as fast as we do or possibly why we keep ourselves so very busy. It’s hard to acknowledge regret, or sit long enough to reassess and strategise change, but if we find the courage to have a vulnerable heart, then we can also see ways to reconciliation, or embrace the fact that each day we are given the choice and opportunity to change, rebuild and grow!
This new life on pause has taught me to grab hold of this invaluable gift and embrace it for the treasure that it is. I’ve had to re-train myself from the old habit of keeping busy for the sake of being busy and be more mindful and intentional about what I put my hand to. I will forever be grateful, despite the sacrifices that have come with this surreal new way of living that I’ve been given a long enough pause on that hamster wheel of life to reboot, recharge and recreate the kind of quality life that is a life worth living.
🌻
Janine
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