Love in Action Journey

Dear Zac, I had to find a quiet moment at the beginning of this day to come and sit outside and overlook your beautiful rose garden to write you this important letter. Today is your 1st birthday! Faithful Jesus knows mommy well and has given us the most beautiful sunny day for me to soak up His warmth right to my very heart ... and true to His loving kindness, your roses are starting to bloom!  As I take in how your garden has begun to grow and flourish over this last year, I can't help but imagine how you have grown and changed in the last Heavenly year of your life. I have no doubt that you are absolutely gorgeous and that Heaven is positively rejoicing over you today. I can just picture all our family that has gone before us doting over you. Hopefully they are serving you some angel-cake for breakfast ;0) Here at home we are choosing joy. We are choosing to make this a day of remembering you with all the love in our hearts. The tears shed come from hearts that ...

A few days after Zac's 'graduation' (I just simply can never get myself to type the words 'died' because my heart knows full well that my little boy is full of life, currently and forever very much alive in Heaven awaiting the day that the rest of his family will join him) we had to start planning his memorial service. It was the lowest time of my life. I could not muster any emotional resolve to plan my son's funeral. I had planned for him to LIVE, not die. I could not even think straight past the pain in my heart and the constant longing for my my little boy, to have to think what songs I wanted sung or order of service felt too overwhelming. Grief is so surreal and weird in those early days. I could not focus on anything for the first month. Conversations were so hard for me because all my senses felt over sensitive and raw. I couldn't follow long conversations without wanting to withdraw to a quiet place. Noise was overbearing to my senses. It's lik...